Chato's Land

What Chato's land doesn't kill, Chato will.

They should of known not to fuck with Bronson

Capt. Quincey Whitmore: - 'To you this is so much bad land - rock, scrub, desert and then more rock. A hard land that the sun has sucked all the good out of. You can't farm it and you can't carve it out and call it your own... so you damn it to hell and it all looks the same. That's our way. To the breed, now, it's his land. He don't expect to give him much and he don't force it none. And to him, it's almost human - a living thing. And it will give him a good place to make his fight against us.'

If you've not guessed, Bronson plays an apache

Chato's land is a western starring Charles Bronson & Jack Palance released in 1972 & directed by Michael Winner. This was the beginning of the relationship between Winner & Bronson which would see them work together on a further five films over the next few years.
Bronson plays the part of Chato, a half American, half Indian who in the opening scene kills a US marshal in self-defence. A group of locals led by Quincey Whitmore (Jack Palance) volunteer to hunt down & bring Chato to justice.

First of all, looking back at this film in 2012 the casting of Bronson as an Apache Indian feels kind of ridiculous. Whilst Bronson has a look of someone who doesn't quite fit you can't help but feel casting a person of actual mixed heritage or descent would of worked better for the movie. In the past this was the norm, most notably Burt Reynolds as Navajo Joe in the 1966 movie of the same name cast as a full blooded Indian.
Perhaps the studio felt that a star was needed for the role of Chato & there was nobody who could fit the part with the right credentials. However, this is not a major problem & very quickly into the film I began to accept Bronson as Chato.
Bronson says the reason he accepted the role was because 'I wanted to play an Indian as an Indian should be played. I've not seen an Indian played realistically on the screen yet... I want to give a good, clean-cut and fair identification..'

Bronson, professional snake thrower!

Bronson doesn't have a single word of English dialogue in this movie. On two occasions he talks in native tongue with fellow Indians but for the most part this is a silent role as Chato. Also, despite being the star of the film Bronson doesn't receive a great deal of screen time. The posse of men believe they are hunting Chato but as the picture progresses it becomes clear that the hunters are becoming the hunted.
As they ride deeper into Chato's climate they begin to slowly struggle to survive. They don't know where to find water from & they are starving so resort to eating one of their own horses. All this goes on whilst Chato watches from a distance. Chato knows where there are puddles to drink from & even catches a rattlesnake which he skins & eats.

The real star of this picture is Jack Palance. He & his group of volunteers go searching for Chino in the wilderness & end up deeper and deeper in Apache country. The majority of the group function simply as a bunch of bloodthirsty racists who cannot wait to put an end to an Indian's life. However Palance's character Quincey Whitmore is a much more sympathetic character who appears to be more cultured than the rest & understands the dangers of the Apache landscape.
In one scene members of the group find Chato's women & gang-rape her (yet another Winner film with rape!). Whitmore does not take part in this & covers the naked women up after the savages are finished with her. In another an Apache that has been caught & shot is being hung & burnt to death yet Whitmore pulls out his gun & puts the man out of his misery.

Chato's land features some strong cinematography, though with those kind of landscapes it would be almost impossible to not of made it look anything other than impressive. The score by Jerry Fielding is not your typical western score yet is very successful in subtle way which helps create the atmosphere & the feeling of dread which starts to creep into the posse as they travel further into Chato's territory.

Bronson may have little to work with considering his lack of dialogue & the fact he only pops up every once in a while to spy on his prey yet his performance is exactly what was needed for this picture. He looks more experienced, wiser & respectful of his surroundings than that of his hunters which gives Chato his believability throughout.

Overall Chato's land is a really tight & well performed western with some memorable scenes & some great characters. Not a classic Bronson performance but definitely a film that I'd personally place in the upper regions of pictures that he has starred in.

Turkish Promotional Poster

Director: Michael Winner
Year Of Release: 1972
Character: Chato
Also starring: Jack Palance & James Whitmore
Age during shoot: 51
Bronson Death Count: 7
Length - 110 Minutes
Film Rating: 7.5/10
Bronson Rating: 6.25/10





Trailer:

Simpsons Spoofs

Bronson & Simpson > Tango & Cash

If anybody ever dares to question the fame of Charles Bronson then you have to look no further than the most popular cartoon series of all time, The Simpsons.
In three different episodes Charles Bronson was referenced or spoofed (which ever way you look at it)
Are the writers mocking Bronson by including him in these clips or is it simply a homage & a sign of just how recognisable Bronson is in popular culture? Either way here are the three clips.. When Charlie met Homer.

01) Bronson, Missouri

02: To Fix Emmet

03) Death Wish 9



The Twilight Zone: 'Two'

AKA Bronson as The Last Man On Earth

In 1961 Charles Bronson starred in an episode of the popular sci-fi television series 'The Twilight Zone'. In this episode entitled 'Two' Bronson's character is known simply as 'The Man' & plays a lonely soldier living in a apocalyptic torn apart by war.

'The Man' stumbles across 'The woman' played by Elizabeth Montgomery best known as Samantha Stephens in the T.V show 'Bewitched' who is dressed in a different military uniform to that of Bronson's character. Recognising Bronson as an enemy she attacks him by throwing bottles, pans & whatever is in her reach at him. They wrestle to the ground & eventually Bronson knocks her out with a punch.

  'The Man' examines a calendar with a woman in a swimsuit on the wall, turns to look back at his opponent and realises that he desires human companionship more than he wants to continue a now-pointless conflict. He awakes the Woman and explains that there is no more war, that there is no point in fighting anymore but will the woman be able to trust him?

'Two' is very reminiscent of 'The Last Man On Earth' with Vincent Price which was then remade as The Omega Man in the 70's with Charlton Heston & then again as 'I Am Legend' with Will Smith in the 00's. The story is basically about trust. Can the woman trust someone who was once an enemy?

The Twilight Zone was a huge show back in the early 60's so must of been a great gig for Bronson to gain further exposure in his career. Bronson gives a decent performance considering the little amount of dialogue he had in this episode.

 Episode: Series 3, Episode 1
 Director: Peter Collinson
 Year Of Release: 1961
 Character: 'The Man'
 Also Starring: Elizabeth Montgomery
 Age During Shoot: 40
 Bronson Death Count: 0
 Length: 25 Minutes
 Film Rating:  6.5/10
 Bronson Rating: 6.5/10

Click to View Episode:

You Can't Win 'Em All

Two soldiers of fortune matching wits and guns against the armies of two nations!

Original Promotional Poster

Josh Corey - 'You gotta have faith. Just because a man lies, steals & cheats doesn't mean he's all bad'

You Can't Win 'Em All was a adventure western released in 1970 & directed by Peter Collinson who is best known for 'The Italian Job'. Starring Bronson & Tony Curtis this British production centered on two former U.S. Army soldiers who join a band of Turkish mercenaries in 1922.  Corey (Bronson) & Dyer (Curtis) are hired by a local governor, to escort his tree daughters to Smyran and to protect a gold shipment that is to accompany them. Nobody is aware that Elci, a local colonel, plans to seal the gold for himself, while a rebel general persues all parties involved.

This movie really doesn't feel like it's from 1970 at all. The late 60's & early 70's saw cinema gain a harder edge with more enthuses on realism and tougher violence. Yet You Can't Win 'Em All feels like a production more suited to the late 50's with it's light hearted approach. The violence feels kind of cartoonish and never threatening. Sure many people die in this film but it's never presented in a vicious way.The brawl in the bar early on in the film immediately tells you what you are in for, a nice gentle and predictable ride.

The war scenes feel very pedestrian & almost routine like you would find in almost any old western you'd find on daytime television re-runs & another downside is the clunky dialogue which feels awkward at the best of times.

The highlights of this film tend to centre around the relationship between Curtis & Bronson who share many witty & humorous exchanges which you would expect to see in a Lethal Weapon movie. However, an extra dynamic is added with their characters never fully trusting each other which is very similar to Eli Wallach & Clint Eastwood's relationship in 'The Good, The Bad & The Ugly'

Tony Curtis received top billing for this film & whilst he does have slightly more screen-time than Bronson he is completely outshone in his scenes with Bronson who's character seems much more confident & in control of his destiny than that of Tony Curtis. For this reason Bronson's character is a much more memorable one than that of Tony Curtis so despite not being top bill on paper manages to steal the show.

Despite this Bronson's performance is hardly a classic by any stretch of the imagination. Having given his most iconic performance as Harmonica in Once Upon A Time In The West just two years prior to this you can't help but feel that this is a massive step backwards

Overall You Can't Win 'Em All is a pleasant viewing with some light hearted action & humour here and there. It's completely forgettable & at times kind of bland yet it offers enough entertainment to make it an enjoyable & easy viewing.

Japan clearly knew who the star of this movie was

Also Known As: Soldiers of Fortune

Director: Peter Collinson

Year Of Release: 1970

Character: Josh Corey

Also Starring: Tony Curtis & Michèle Mercier

Age During Shoot: 49

Bronson Death Count: 12? 

Length: 97 minutes

Film Rating:  5/10

Bronson Rating: 5.5/10

Trailer:

Death Wish III Game

Game packaging. Back when games came on Cassette

Given the popularity of Charles Bronson & the success of The Death Wish franchise in the mid 80's it came as no surprise that Bronson would star in his very own video game. Death Wish 3 the game was released in 1987 by Gremlin Graphics Software Ltd & was released on the Spectrum Sinclair, Amstrad CPC & Commadore 64 systems. It retailed for a modest £7.99 in the U.K.
Unfortunately back in those days film tie-ins were often rushed out without a great deal of detail or care put into the game itself. The publishers would gain the rights to use the film tie-in and then want to release the game as soon as possible to make as much cash as quickly as they could.
Death Wish 3 is no exception to this rule. Whilst the graphics for it's time are pretty sharp the gameplay even back in 1987 left little to the imagination. Walking around blasting bad guys away constantly with no variation meant the game would become tedious & dull very quickly.
Still for us mere mortals this is the closest you'll probably ever get to being Charles Bronson!

For far too long, ruthless and merciless gangs have terrorised the streets.
Muggings and robberies have become commonplace and the police seem powerless
against the underworld. So, when the Chief of Police turns a blind eye, you
take over where the law left off...

You play CHARLES BRONSON'S leading role of street vigilante Paul Kersey, New
York's own unique brand of Justice Fighter, and you are out to rid the city

of the punks and creeps who infest the streets.

Having received a distress call from an old friend, you venture to New York,
scouring the streets and buildings for the villains and the vermin,
eliminating them as you go. The police help out where they can, but your
driving force is the belief that the safety of decent New York citizens is in
your hands.

It's not going to be easy - locals can get caught up in the action, but
luckily medics are on hand to tend to the wounded. Remember too that the cops
are on your side - shoot too many by mistake and you will find them far less
than friendly. Punks and creeps are easily identified, but the notorious gang
leaders, lolling around behind their desks are your prime targets.

Loading Screen

Click for in-game footage

Mandom commercial

Real Men Wear MANDOM

In 1970 Charles Bronson had become a big star in Japan thanks to 'Once Upon A Time In The West' & was viewed as the quintessential 'Western Man'. Bronson agreed to star in a television advert for a male toiletry corporation named 'Mandom'. For four days work Bronson received $100,000, which was more than he had received for the iconic roles in The Magnificent Seven & The Great Escape put together.
Within weeks of the advert hitting Japanese screens 'Mandom' had become the top selling male toiletry product in the whole of Japan.

The Homo-eroticism of this advert knows no bounds with Bronson splashing himself with the product with such brutal force that gun shots have to soundtrack his every move. Then there is the little camp twist (with pipe in mouth to show he is still a hard bastard) whilst throwing his shirt across the room which is simply sensational.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm MANDOM!

An interesting fact regarding this commercial is that it was infact directed by Nobuhiko Ohbayashi who put out one of the most batshit crazy movies I've ever seen in 'House'.
& here is the infamous commercial, probably the greatest advert in the history of Japanese television.

Charles Bronson's Death Count

With each Movie or T.V episode I watch I shall be noting just how many lives Charles Bronson takes each time around. Obviously not every Bronson movie features him ending lives though many include high body counts.
Often in war pictures with multiple weapons firing at once it's sometimes hard to know exactly who to give the credit to on occasions these will be rough estimates. They will be displayed with a question mark next to the total of kills.

Body Count - Character - Film   

12? as Josh Corey in You Can't Win 'Em All
7 as Chato in Chato's Land
2 as Joe Martin in Cold Sweat

1 as Ray Bardon in The Woman Who Wanted To Live

0 as Frank Bramwell in There Was An Old Woman

0 as Del Krovitch in And So Died Riabouchinska

0 as John Strock in Masters Of The World

Alfred Hitchcock Presents... The Woman Who Wanted To Live

Director: Alan Crosland Jr.
Year Of Release: 1962
Character: Ray Bardon
Also Starring: Lola Albright
Age During Shoot: 41
Bronson Death Count: 1
Length: 30 minutes
Episode Rating: 6/10
Bronson Rating: 6/10






After starring in two episodes of 'Alfred Hitchcock Presents' in 1956 Charles Bronson returned six years later for his third and final appearence on the show. In this episode Bronson plays Ray Bardon, an escaped convict who robs a gas station and kills the attendant and escapes by hijacking a car with it's female passenger Nina played by Lola Albright.

Whilst not a classic Bronson performance this is the only of the three episodes where he gets to show off any kind of physical action when a gang dressed in leather jackets try to attack Nina whilst Bronson is sleeping. Charlie awakes & is confronted by the leader of the gang who is swinging a huge chain as a weapon. Bronson knocks him to the ground easily & pulls out his gun to force the gang to flee quickly. The rest of the episode involves a tired Bronson who bit by bit gains the trust of Nina as he needs to get as far away as possible from the police. However, perhaps Bronson should have questioned just why Nina was so willing to help him out in the first place.

click below to view this episode.



Alfred Hitchcock Presents... There Was an Old Woman

Director: Robert Stevenson
Year Of Release: 1956
Character: Frank Bramwell
Also Starring: Estelle Winwood, Norma Crane & Dabbs Greer
Age During Shoot: 35
Bronson Death Count: 0
Length: 30 minutes
Episode Rating: 7/10
Bronson Rating: 8/10





Mrs Laughton is a lonely & delusional women who spends her time planning imaginary funerals. Mrs Laughton also happens to be very rich. When Frank and Lorna Bramwell overhear a conversation with the local milkman regarding Mrs Laughton's wealth they decide to rob the old lady for all she is worth, however Mrs Laughton isn't quite as daft as she first seems.

'There Was an Old Women' is the second of three epsiodes of the popular TV program 'Alfred Hitchcock Presents' that Charles Bronson starred in. Bronson is brilliant as the hungry & desperate Frank Bramwell who will stop at nothing to get what he wants. He clearly can see that Mrs Laughton is not the full picture and even plays along with her imaginary scenarios in order to get what he wants, her wealth. Estelle Winwood is fantastic as the eccentric old lady however Norma Crane as Bronson's partner in crime has the tendency to overact at times however on the whole the performances are all good. However it's the twist at the very end of the episode which gives this piece it's weight however I will not spoil that for you so you better watch it for yourself to find out what happens.

This is a much stronger and rounded episode then 'And So Died Riabouchinska' which didn't suit the short format of the show. However There Was An Old Woman lends itself perfectly to the half hour format & is well worth seeing if only to see Bronson play a cold hearted evil con man who has absolutely no problem with robbing a fragile old lady.

Click below to watch this episode.





Alfred Hitchcock Presents...And So Died Riabouchinska

Director: Robert Stevenson
Year Of Release: 1956
Character: Det. Krovitch
Also Starring: Claude Rains, Claire Carleton & Lowell Gilmore
Age During Shoot: 35
Death Count: 0
Length: 30 minutes
Episode Rating: 5/10
Bronson Rating: 6/10

'And So Died Riabouchinska' is the first of three episodes of 'Alfred Hitchcock Presents' that Charles Bronson would appear in. Bronson plays Detective Kronvitch who is sent to investigate a murder in a theater & whilst doing so discovers the strange relationship a ventriloquist has with his female dummy.

As Bronson questions the ventriloquist it soon becomes clear that Claude Rains's character has a split personality between himself and his dummy. It doesn't take much to put two and two together to realise where this story was heading. It lacked any kind of suspense due to the obvious nature of the script though this was one of the first times this issue had been tackled on screen.

An epside of The Twilight Zone soon followed with a similar plot & then there is the excellent 'Magic' starring Anthony Hopkins which essentially takes the same story we have here & gives us a much better insight into the relationship between man and his dummy.

Bronson puts in a solid performance in a role which he'd go on to play countless times in his career as a Detective. Whilst he doesn't get to show off any pyhsical attributes in this episode he does a fine job in wearing the ventriloquist down to get the information he needed.

Click below to watch this episode.